I Wish I Had My Father With Me

"The speed of my brain has been reduced very

deeply since you left my hands when I was nine,

Yes, my mind has become silent without merry

but your memories bring storms with no sunshine.

In my mind, your memories make me feel

weak and my very tiny heart also gets sad,

So my eyes always become wet but I still

try not to flush tears though I'm not glad.

As I need to carry courage before

my mum because she isn't so strong as me,

She always brings tears out in your

memories, she is in deep grief and can't free.

Her love and thoughts from you my dear

father, yes she always wears only white dress,

and kurta, her heart gets covered in fear,

whenever she goes closer to a garden of grace.

Where she can find many a kind of rose

but now she can't touch red flowers and,

Other red things since you left us in morose

three years ago so that you are living on land.

Of heaven, I was very small so I don't know

anything about your death but I heard,

You had become sick and it took your shadow,

and you to tomb where has many a bird.

And silence, I had also gone there to say

goodbye to you for the last time but that,

Time my eyes were very clear like a day

of sunny, ground wasn't wet where I sat.

Yes, I didn't bring any tears out on the ground

as I was convinced that you would come,

To me soon and you aren't still in my around

but my foolish eyes are awaiting you from.

A long time though I know it's just a dream

dear dad, please tell me where you have gone,

Your absence is making me weak like a gleam

of candles and from my life I have lost my fun.

Joy has lost from my heart like a cold wind

but I always try level my best to hide,

All my pain and smile like the moon at blind

night and day as I can't make mum ride.

Heart in a thorn of agony due to my sad mood

as you aren't with me but I'm taking care

Of your wife and my mum but I'm not good,

my eyes always get hurt as she must wear,

Only white kurta, I hardly see her in colorful

dress so whenever I see clouds in the skies,

I usually wish that they shouldn't bring cool

rains as they look white and from my eyes.

Also see mum's white dress so I really hate

them though my joyous heart used to send,

Them my love when I was with you but fate

of mine didn't want me to stay and blend.

My whole life with you and I still miss

all the memories that I had enjoyed the golden,

Time with you, my heart had got bliss

when you carried me on shoulder with no pain.

And take me to that old hill which had white

snow, you didn't let my feet touch the yard,

Even the world as I was carried day and night

on your shoulder, you used to give me regard.

And love even the whole things what I desired

for so you were the best dad across the world,

As I was swimming in your love, and I admired,

you even still now, I used to wait for the cold.

Evening as you used to bring many a sweet

after the sun had got hidden behind the hill,

By selling your sweat on the thorny street,

we used to sit on a yard with enjoying chill.

Wind at cold night and looking at the dark

sky where had trillions of stars and the moon,

As we us invited joy in our hearts of mark

whenever we saw the stars fall and very soon.

We used to request stars to make

our wishes come true, but you wished only for my desire,

Yes you wanted me to take

all the joy, in fact you had saved me from fire.

Of danger, I don't know why you were the best

dad but thank you for everything and I try,

Not to be weak as your blessings are in my chest

but sometimes your memories make me cry.

I know crying isn't good, you had taught

me before you left so I must be very strong,

Though you aren't with me, your thought

and memories will be with me as a song.

Dear dad, if I take a new life I just

want to be your son again, it must,

Happen as I want to spend every moment

you as the best friend like the time we had spent.

Written by Darshan Kc ‘Saanku’

Despite his physical limitations, Saanku is a multi-talented individual. He is mute with immobile limbs.
He uses his nose to operate cell phones and computers for his compositions.