Letter From Mideast: No Fireworks In War Zones

People worldwide have been celebrating the Chinese New Year in recent days. Growing up in China, watching fireworks during festivities was one of my fondest childhood memories. But now, after four years as a journalist in the Middle East, including three years in Israel, I began associating fireworks with unease.

In January 2024, I managed to travel back to China for the Chinese New Year, or Spring Festival, about four months after the outbreak of the new Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

After an 11-hour flight from Tel Aviv, I arrived in Shenzhen, a bustling southern Chinese city. As soon as I got off the plane, I immediately found myself caught up in the cheerful and festive atmosphere.

While waiting for my connecting flight to Beijing, I was struck by how surreal everything was. Just a day earlier, I was standing on the Gaza border, wearing a bulletproof vest, surrounded by the devastation of a war-torn area. And now, I was in a completely different world.

That feeling of disorientation lingered throughout my stay in China. When fireworks exploded for celebrations, I couldn't help but feel anxious: the sharp crackling of firecrackers reminded me of gunfire, while the fireworks ascending into the night sky strikingly resembled incoming missiles. Despite being safe and surrounded by family, I couldn't shake off the unease.

From the Gaza border and the Red Sea region in the south to the Israeli-Lebanese border and the Golan Heights in the north, my colleagues and I have traversed the battle-scarred front lines multiple times, capturing war stories and witnessing the emotional toll of war -- anguish, hate, hope, resilience, and an unwavering quest for peace.

Yet, joy and celebration were rare birds. On days when people in other parts of the world were celebrating, death and violence still reared their ugly heads in Gaza.

On the last night of 2023, I was in Tel Aviv for interviews at Hostage Square, near the Israeli Defense Ministry. People gathered at the square to demand negotiations for a ceasefire with Hamas to secure the release of hostages held in Gaza. A huge screen displayed the number of days, hours, minutes, and seconds since the war began.

As midnight approached and fireworks lit up the skies in other parts of the world to welcome the New Year, my phone started buzzing with urgent alerts about incoming rockets -- Hamas was launching a barrage on central Israel. Moments later, the piercing sound of air raid sirens followed.

I witnessed panic-stricken people rushing out of their apartments, some still in the middle of showering, wrapping themselves in towels. Mothers attempted to soothe their crying children, while the elderly hobbled toward shelters.

In war zones, there were no festive fireworks for the New Year. Instead, lights from the air defense systems intercepting missiles streaked across the sky, and the night was marked by the sound of explosions.

So far, the war, which has lasted nearly 16 months, has claimed the lives of over 47,000 Palestinians and around 1,700 Israelis.

Some of my Israeli friends told me that they had stopped following the developments, drained by the constant negativity and tragedy. But as a near full-time war correspondent, I can't turn away from the information, even though I can feel the unrelenting cycle of death and conflict taking its toll on me and trapping me in the war.

My days have fallen into a repetitive pattern, starting and ending with checking conflict updates. I wake up and fall asleep amid the constant flood of war information. Even my dreams are filled with the looming fear of explosions and the frantic search for safety.

When the latest ceasefire between Israel and Hamas began on Jan. 19, the streets of Israel and Palestine were filled with embraces, cheers and tears. Some Palestinians set off fireworks to celebrate the truce and the release of prisoners.

For a moment, joy eclipsed grief. That night, I felt a sense of joy and hope, which I hadn't experienced for a long time on this land. I sincerely hope for a lasting ceasefire between Israel and Hamas. The people of this land need it, and I need it too.
-XINHUA